So, my podcast is getting out there...

People are interested. They're listening. Woo hoo! I've been checking my stats, and my belief that this podcast is of interest to people (and it's pretty much one of a kind in the podcasting world), seems to be panning out. 70 people in January have downloaded the current mp3 file. That's way cool. And a bunch of other folks have downloaded my past files, as well. So far, VeryPeri is the most popular podcast I've got going on, which doesn't really surprise me. Nobody else is doing a similar podcast, from what I can tell...

But that's of no help, unless I actually continue to podcast new and interesting information, ideas and insight.

And it can't all be bitching and carping and blaming. Oh, no, that gets tired really quick. I mean, when you're (peri)menopausal (or you know someone who is), the less pleasant parts of human nature come front and center. But that's not all that needs to come front and center. And what's the point of it coming front and center, unless you're going to deal with it?

One of the big shifts I've made over the past weeks and months of dealing with a whole lot of annoying crapola tied up with menopause, is coming to the conclusion that this "condition" is not going to completely wreck my life and my peace of mind. It can't. It just can't. I can't possibly go through the next 10-15 years, bitching and moaning and complaining about every little thing that irritates me -- which is a whole lot, at this point in time.

There has to be a better way to handle all of this -- and HRT is NOT the way I'm going to do it. I can totally see where HRT would be very attractive to a lot of women, who just want all the craziness to Stop(!) But from where I'm sitting, to just Stop the madness would cheat me of a very valuable opportunity to take a long, hard look at what it is that bugs me, and figure out why it bugs me.

Because face it, people, once women get to a certain point in life, they/we just don't feel like taking it anymore. We don't feel like being marginalized and discounted and treated like breeding stock or free babysitters who will make sure the next generation of consumers are well-fed and well-clothed. We don't feel like being someone else's wife/consort/punching bag... a quick and easy way to unload your frustrations, because that's what we're good at, that's what we're made for.

Being pissed off during (peri)menopause is not only a function of biology and hormonal changes. Oh, no. It's a function of screwed-up society, as well. Because like it or not, menopausal women have their eyes wide open. We've spent our lives being second-class citizens in so many ways (and you can just bite me, if you think I'm being a bitter feminist -- I'm being real, and real honest -- a lot more honest than most people have the cajones to be), and by the time we've raised the brats and sent them out into the world, we've been the dutiful spouse, the diligent worker, the contributor to the world at large, we're in the mood to be recognized for who and what we are, what we've accomplished, what we know, what we're capable of doing.

We're just not in the mood to be be tossed aside. Maybe 100 years ago, women were resigned to that reality. Those were the days when women were treated as chattel and breeding stock (check your history, people -- once upon a time in the Western World, when a woman married, she became the property of her husband... after spending her childhood being the property of her parents, of course). But this is 2005, and a whole lot of women have reached the point in their lives, where the realize that all the crap we're sold about who and what we are, and where we fit into the world at large is just that -- crap.

So, don't go blaming hormones, when women get an attitude at a certain age. A lot of it actually has to do with our eyes being opened by our bodies' changes, that sharpen our faculties of observation and reason. And without the perpetual worry about the kids, our precious career paths, our darling partners, all those things that seem so momentous when we're 25, but gradually cease to be causes for concern... well, we've got time and energy to be thinking about other things. And when our bodies' cycles are so unpredictable, that nothing we've come to take for granted is necessarily true anymore, well, you've got a recipe for discernment that's unparallelled inthe lives of countless women across the face of the planet.

No, it's not all hormones that makes us crazy. Look around, dude. You can't seriously expect us to be okay with how things are, can you?

Okay, so that rant aside, here's where I'm at vis-a-vis my own perimenopausal experience:

Yes, it's disruptive, but I'm not going to let it ruin my life. And I'm not going to pump myself full of potential carcinogens like HRT to make it through to the other side. I'm just going to have to pay close attention to what's bugging me, and understand why it's bugging me. And make all my agitation and frustration worthwhile.

They're not going away anytime soon. I might as well get some serious mileage out of them.